With their talking over, the candidates have turned to the substance of governing, and speculation is rampant about who will end up in each man’s cabinet. Here is what a Romney cabinet might look like, in order of official rank. ▪ Secretary of State: Judging from last night’s debate, we don’t need one
▪ Secretary of the Treasury: Herman Cain, 9-9-9, Atlanta, Georgia
▪ Secretary of Defense (which will take back its traditional name, the Department of War): Erik Prince, founder of Blackwater, the world’s largest private army
▪ Attorney General: Rick Santorum, former senator from Pennsylvania; long-time resident of Great Falls, Virginia.
▪ Secretary of the Interior (now the Department of Oil): David Koch, philanthropist, Wichita, Kansas
▪ Secretary of Agriculture: Hugh Grant, Chairman and CEO, Monsanto
▪ Secretary of Commerce: The donor wishes to remain anonymous
▪ Secretary of Labor: Abolished
▪ Secretary of Health and Human Services: Todd Akin, Congressman, Wildwood, Missouri
▪ Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Kerry Klinger, former CEO of the former Washington Mutual, Inc.
▪ Secretary of Transportation: Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO, ExxonMobil
▪ Secretary of Energy (now the Department of Gas): Charles Koch, philanthropist, Wichita, Kansas
▪ Secretary of Education (abolished along with the public school system)
▪ Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Newt Gingrich, Honorary Veteran, McLean, Virginia
▪ Secretary of Homeland Security: Joseph M. Arpaio, Sheriff, Maricopa County, Arizona
▪ Chair of the Council of Home Economics Advisors (chosen randomly from a binder): Ann Romney
▪ Administrator of the EPA (Economic Production Agency): Hon. James M. Inhofe (R), Tulsa, Oklahoma
▪ Ambassador (now Minister) to the United Nations: Terry Jones, Pastor, Gainesville, Florida
Tomorrow: Obama’s cabinet.