I was hoping to give my kids a Congressperson for Christmas this year, but when I finally went online there were hardly any left. Just a couple of lame duck representatives and Mary Landrieu, still peddling her Keystone Pipeline. But I’m looking for someone who will last beyond the end of the year. Damn those pre-Christmas sales, especially the $1.1-trillion pre-Christmas budget sale that has a little something for everyone: sleep-impaired, Red Bull-guzzling truckers can again legally drive 82 hours a week – putting even Santa’s sleigh at risk; medical marijuana dispensaries, in states where they’re lawful, are safe from raids by the Justice Department, which can now only bust illegal joints; and in a major surprise, the sage grouse, never a large donor, lost out to the oil-and-gas industry, which claims the endangered bird interferes with drilling.
But the really big gifts went to the really big givers.
Those risky derivatives that brought the world’s economy to its knees in 2008 will again be insured by the American taxpayer for the sole benefit of the five banks – Bank of America, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and JP Morgan – that do 95% of the trading.
And big donors can now give $1.6 million to their favorite parties – over eight times the old limit.
The New York Times reports that Estefanía Isaías can spend Christmas in Miami with her maids, thanks to her fugitive family’s enormous generosity to the Democratic Party.
And Mitch McConnell hopes we all get coal in our stockings.